By Jennifer S. Wilkov
Have you ever had those situations where someone is learning a life lesson – but you’re not sure if it’s you?
Sometimes, in order for others to learn a valuable lesson, we have to play our role and part. It’s not always easy and it’s not always clear.
In certain circumstances, someone may behave inappropriately and it falls to you to let them know. At times, people may choose less than respectful ways of communicating – either by phone, email or even when in person.
Here is the key to these situations: it’s not about you; it’s about them.
The real question is: Who do you want to be in the situation?
No one said these times are easy, but you do have a choice about what role you’re going to play in the outcome.
Will you be the victim?
Will you be the scolding parent?
The passive-aggressive “friend” or colleague?
To be more powerful, use these simple guidelines to assess, evaluate and decide:
- Disassociate yourself from the situation. Look at it – and you – from an outsider’s perspective. This will bring your emotions down and your intelligence up.
- Determine what happened. Identify what you do know – and also what you’re not clear about.
- Decide if you need more information about the situation. If you are confused, ask for clarity.
- Take a moment to think through who you want to be and what response you really want to give. This will help you to react less and give a more congruent response with who you will choose to be in the situation.
- Follow through, play your part full out and don’t take anything personally.
Be consistent about the role you want to play in the situation and respond accordingly. Communicate clearly and get clear about what the other person really wants.
If you find that the person creating the situation is not taking responsibility for their behavior and you find that this is someone whom you feel you’d like to spend less time with, then do.
It’s ultimately your choice and your life.
You Can Do It!
© 2010 Jennifer S. Wilkov. All Rights Reserved.
Jennifer S. Wilkov: Media personality, host and producer
of the #1 radio talk show “Your Book Is Your Hook!” on WomensRadio.
Jennifer is a best-selling award-winning author who has been published five
times, an award-winning freelance writer and a respected book business
consultant in her business by the same name, “Your Book Is Your Hook!”
She has both self-published and been published by a traditional publisher.
Jennifer has been called the quintessential writer and teacher for the 21st
century. She supports first-time and seasoned authors in their book writing,
publishing and marketing endeavors through coaching and training in her “Your
Book Is Your Hook!” consulting practice. www.YourBookIsYourHook.com